Sunday.

We did not go to Portsmouth today as we needed a day of rest but we rang the hospital in the morning and evening for updates. She has been a bit upset today.

Charlotte is still receiving antibiotics through a drip inserted via a Cannula Needle,however her veins are now breaking up so her antibiotics may now need to be given to her orally through her feeding tube which is not as effective as through a drip

The cannula needle is inserted into skin, into the vein or artery, and the cannula (sleeve) held in place while the needle is withdrawn. This creates a stable, semipermanent tube through which the Antibiotics can be introduced. Charlotte has had to endure a new cannula being inserted every few days for the last six weeks and has become understandably and increasingly vocally fed up with it.

The doctors are confident that they have the infection under control so she just needs to finish her course of antibiotics.The Head Scans are still showing areas of infection but these appear to be getting smaller and there is no evidence of any further damage yet. Her blood cultures are no longer showing any signs of infection.

Monday

Charlotte started the day well. They managed to get a cannula in her arm last night, she was only off the antibiotics for 2 hours, The Doctor's then tried her with 4 hours off CPAP this overnight and her gas results were excellent so they decided to take her off CPAP 11 am for 6 hours to see how she goes.

Charlotte is now a chubby girl. She continues to put on weight and is now the grand weight of 2 Pounds and 6 Ounces, she is becoming a greedy little girl and likes her milk.

Tuesday 10:30 AM.

Samantha has just rung from the Hospital. Charlotte did so well yesterday off CPAP they did not put her back on it, she has been off nearly 24 hours. Her breathing is a bit quicker as her heart and lungs are now doing all the work unaided but her Gas results were very good.She has now just got a small nasal plug fitted, which she much prefers,to provide Oxygen. This is great news as she clearly hates the CPAP as it squashes her nose and must be very uncomfortable. She has a right little grizzle every time it is fitted back on.

The Doctors in Portsmouth are now considering speaking to Frimley Park, (our local Hospital 3 miles away),to see if she can be transferred in the next week or two. Frimley do not have CPAP machines so as long as she stays off she could be moved. Frimley also do not take babies under 1 kilo and she is 1.077 kilo's. She has about another 7 or 8 days of antibiotics treatment for the infection via a Cannula,(which she also hates) and then hopefully the Heart operation in the next couple of weeks.

Wednesday.

We have started to notice Charlotte smile when the milk hits her belly. For the last 3 days, whenever she receives her milk, she gives a tiny little smile. Although she is not tasting anything she obviously knows when her belly is full.She has gone from getting half a ml per couple of hours to 7 ml an hour on the hour. She started to grizzle today at 13:02 pm when her milk was a couple of minutes late. As soon as it was injected into her feeding tube and moved down into her stomach she went quiet and a little smile appeared aaaaaah.

She is still doing well off CPAP and down to 0.03% oxygen through the nasal plug

Thursday.

Sam has just rung from the Hospital to report, Charlotte was weighed in last night as being 2 lbs 8 and a half ounces, an increase of 2 and a half ounces since sunday. She has however reported that upon changing Charlotte's nappy it became evident she has achieved her biggest and messiest poo yet. It might have reduced her weight by an ounce or poo , I mean two !

Saturday.

We went to see Charlotte in the afternoon. She seems to have grown quite chubby in the week since I last saw her, there is a suspicion of a double chin and fat belly. The Doctors say her heart murmur is quiet again and are not really sure if the duct might be trying to close. They have increased her from 7 to 8 ml of milk as this might help. They are going to bring in a scanner sometime in the coming week which will display the duct and allow them to measure it.

Sammi carefully lifted Charlotte out of the incubator and I cuddled her under my shirt for an hour until she started screaming. I never realised before that something so tiny could create such a deafening and screeching noise.It does not bode well for the future! I managed to avoid nappy changing duties again but fear my 7 week unbeaten run may end soon, I am running out of excuses and think my first nappy change may be imminent, but as I keep saying to Sammi it comes so much more naturally to women than men.!

On Sunday 19th

The www.Charlottelow.com Website has just gone online, and the Diaries were first updated at 20.00 hrs on Sunday 19th August.p>

we dressed Charlotte in her first little outfit today. She had just been in her nappy for the past 5 weeks. But on her 5 week birthday we dressed her in the tiniest little pink vests that we had bought from Boots a couple of days earlier. She looked sooooo cute. A proper little baby, our little girl.

The Doctor Said she is pleased with her progress but a specialist from Southampton Hospital is due to visit this week to evaluate when her Heart Duct surgery should be undertaken, as her Duct is increasing in size.

Phoned the hospital at 9am Monday morning. Charlotte has hit the 2lb mark. Her new official weight is 920 grams. A little over 2 pounds. A celebration is in order and I hope people will have a drink for her.

Friday 24th 21:10 hrs.

Samantha has been going to see Charlotte every day in the morning but I had to go back to work last Monday after a month off (2 weeks paternity leave and 2 weeks off ill with stress). I have not seen my little daughter since Sunday and cannot wait to see her. She is weighed every Sunday and Wednesday nights, and Thursday morning was weighed at nearly 2 pounds 2 ounces. It is so difficult as a Father having to concentrate at work when all I want to do is be with my precious little daughter who is still so far away in Portsmouth.

Every time we see adverts on TV involving a baby or see parents in the Town with their new baby it really hurts, we just want her home, it is so unfair that she is so far away, I cannot wait for her to be well enough to be moved to a hospital closer to us, I could then see her every evening and not just once a week.

I am looking forward to seeing her tomorrow morning with Samantha and her grand parents. She is allowed out of the incubator for short while for a cuddle so we can hold her and I will be able to do more than just stare at her picture at work all day long.

Saturday 25th August.

Nanny and Grandad,(Samantha's Mother and Partner),visited Charlotte. They thought she had really grown and loved seeing her.

For the first time, Charlotte appears to be focussing. As we stand next to the Incubator she looks at you. We wonder what goes through her mind, but at least we know she sees us.

Charlotte has finally managed 4 hours off the CPAP machine with 4 hours on, for the very first time. The CPAP machine,(Constant Positive Airway Pressure), keeps her lungs inflated as well as providing extra oxygen support. When a premature baby is born they are not able to keep their lungs inflated sufficiently so this machine gives them the extra support they need when they come off the ventilator. It is a less invasive way of helping babies breath. The nurse said that they hope she will be off the CPAP machine within the next few days. This is very good for such a young baby. Charlotte will be happy about this as she hates having the CPAP on as it squashes her nose and as she has such a cute little nose, (her Mommy's distinguished nose - dad added this comment, hope Mummy does not notice it and kill me), and this upsets her !!.

Charlotte started the week with a small weight loss. A bit of a disappointment as we were convinced she would continue to gain weight. She remained stable however so this was good.

By the Thursday morning, she had started to gain weight again and at this point weighed approx 1 pound 14 ounces or 870 grams Latest head scan shows no change, the same spores are still evident but the Doctors confirm that the infection is under control.

Charlotte had her second bath. Again she loved it and she smelled so sweet after bathing in bubbles.

On Friday she was moved to special care. WOW, our little girl, still with such obstacles to overcome was now in Special Care. She was stable enough to be moved out of Intensive Care. We still have so many worries.

She will need a heart op for certain to close the heart valve. We do not know what the brain cysts will do to her long term but she was out of Intensive Care. This was very exciting.

Charlotte starting to stabilise. Although still very poorly with the fungal infection and having to cope with the heart valve being open, she started to do well.She started to gain weight and started to look better.

Charlotte also had her first bath this week. She loved it. She looked so happy when the nurse bathed her, so relaxed, so content.

With so many issues still to overcome, our strength was starting to build again. Our little girl was a fighter and so should we be fighters too.

Dad went back to work on the Monday but Doctors had discovered, after a weekly head scan on Wednesday, that Charlotte had developed cysts on her brain which, after further investigation, they discovered was more than likely caused by the fungal infection Candida.

Samantha rang me at work Wednesday morning and upon hearing this news I was so distraught and in shock that a work colleague took me home. Doctors cannot not tell us how this will affect her future. We will need to wait at least 18 months, possibly years before we know. We are thinking positively that she is a fighter and whatever the future may hold she is still our little girl and we love her

We drove down Thursday but I started feeling faint and lay down in the rest room and then had amnesia. I had lost my memory, in particular the last 4 weeks and everything to do with our daughter. The last 4 weeks was gone. I could only remember for two minutes. So Samantha had to put up with my asking the same questions every few minutes or so.

I was taken by ambulance to the A&E unit at the sister Hospital St Alexandra. Samantha, in a panic, rang my Brother who immediately drove down from his home Essex. Thankfully I regained my memory later that evening. I went to see my Doctor the next morning and was signed off work with stress, as I could not even face leaving the house let alone going to the Hospital, But Samantha went by herself.

We were also advised this week that the heart valve, which had closed, had now re-opened and was getting larger. A double shock. She would need an operation in Southampton Hospital but this cannot happen until the infection is almost cleared.